The Snogging Spin the Fire Whiskey Bottle
by TheRadMonkey
Summary: Well...the titles self explanitory really...Harry Potter and friends play Spin the Bottle with a Fire Whiskey bottle. In that Gryiffindor common room all hell breaks loose. Just read and review! COMPLETE!
1. Spin the Bottle

Disclaimer: I own nothing! Well…except for maybe the plot…and my boyfriend, James(I've got him wrapped!)…

_Chapter 1_

_**With Everyone Here, Why Not Play!**_

Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Dean, Seamus, Pavati, Lavender (As goes in that order) are all sitting in a circle, an empty firewhiskey bottle is in the middle of the circle. That's right; they are play (dun dun dun!) Spin the bottle, which is strictly forbidden, as said so by Prof. Snape (not that they care what the slimy git thinks). After much arguing, Ron gets to go first at spinning the bottle.

Bottle: spin, spin, spin, spin, spin…

Everyone: Gasp

Bottle: Lands on…Seamus.

Ron: Why me…?

Narrater: MUA HA HA HA HA! Because that's how I wrote it! DUH!

Ron: **muttering** stupid narrater…

Hermione: **all excited and stuff **COME ON RON! JUST KISS HIM AlREADY!

Ron: **sigh** right…Walkes over and just barely kisses Seamus on the lips, then starts mumbling about day-ja-vou.

Seamus: **spins bottle**

Bottle: spin, spin, spin, spin, spin…

Everyone: Gasp

Bottle: Lands on…Lavender.

Lavender: OY! NO WAY IN HELL!

Seamus: **trying to smile seductively yet failing miserably **Let me come over their and give moma some sugars!

Lavender: **Gets up and runs screaming through the dorms 13 times then suddenly stops and sits back down**. Alright I'm ready now…

Harry: **muttering to Ron **there's something wrong with her…I just can't put my finger on it…Damn…

Ron: **mutters something about day-ja-vou.**

Ginny: **whispering in Heromione's ear **Their all nutters…

Hermione: **whispering back in Ginny's ear **I'd really like to see you in your knickers…

Ginny: **Raises eyebrow at Hermione and starts paying more than enough attention to Lavender and Seamus snogging**

Lavender: **finally get's Seamus off of her and runs into the bathroom to start puking**

Seamus: I think that went well. **sits back down and smiles jovially**

Ron: **muttering to Hermione **he kind of remindes me of Percy…

Hermione: **muttering back to Ron **I'd really like to see you in you knickers…

Harry:** purposefully evesdropping **Que?** raises eyebrow at Hermione**

Hermione: **muttering across Ron to Harry **Your really hot you know! Unlike that fat bastard Ron…

Ron: **Jumping up and yelling **HEY! BITCH I HEARD THAT!

Hermione:** acting Innocent **don't know what your talking about Ronald…**winks at Harry**

Harry: **raises eyebrow**

Ron: **sits back down **Alright… that's good enough for me…**startes snogging Hermione**

Hermione: **shrugges and starts snogging back**

Ron: OY Hermione! You just bit my tongue!

Hermione: YA! WELL YOU SQUEEZING MY…never mind… I didn't say a damn thing…

Harry & Ginny: **raises eyebrow **What ever…**start snogging**

Pavati: **goes over to Dean and they start snogging**

Dean: **snogging Pavati**

Lavender: **finally comes out off bathroom, bit's of vomit dribbling down the side of her mouth.**

Seamus:** looking at Lavender **That's so hott!** runs over and starts snogging Lavender**

Lavender:** pulls away and runs to the bathroom again**

Seamus: Damn…

NARRATER: AND THAT MY FRIENDS, WAS THE SHORTEST FUCKING GAME OF SPIN THE BOTTLE IN THE WORLD. TUNE IN NEXT TIME AS WE SEE :TRUTH OR DARE; UNSENCORED! **Grabs Ginny by the Hair and pulles her away from Harry, than starts snogging Harry**

A/N: heh heh heh…ya middle of the night…oh and I have nothing against Ginny. Everyone knows that those 2 will end up together by the end 7th book…so review…I just want to see what you people think…


	2. Truth or Dare

_Chapter 2_

_**One Likes Pie...and so does the other? **_

Again, in the same order as before, but instead of playing Spin the Bottle, they are, in fact, playing TRUTH OR DARE, UNCENSORED! So read and enjoy!

Ron: YES, I GET TO GO FIRST AGAIN!

Everyone: **rolls eyes whatever...**

Ron: Alright...Hermione, Truth or Dare?

Hermione: **Pretending to think **I'll play safe and go with Truth.

Ron: **Looking slightly disappointed **alright...Do you know that one Joke about 'What's Red and Silver and Runs into walls?'

Hermione: **Shakes head no no **I haven't. Dean, Truth or Dare.

Dean: Dare...of course.

Hermione. I dare you to kiss the wall!

Ginny: **Disgusted** That's the best you can come up with 'Mione? 'kiss the wall!' egad why are you my best friend...

Dean:** Goes and kisses the wall, then sits back down **Ginny, Truth or Dare.

Ginny: Dare.

Dean: **Thinks hard **I dare you to go strip for Harry.

Hermione: Can I come?

Ron: **looks at her with a raised eyebrow **no you can't, your supposed to like guys remember…

Ginny: **Smiling seductively **I can do that. Come on Harry.

Harry**: trying not to look as excited as he is **alright...if I have to...**Follows Ginny**

60 minutes later...

Harry: **Comes out with Ginny's shirt on **'Ello all!

Ginny: **comes out without a shirt on at all, looking slightly messed up. Her hair is in a dissaray, and her face is pink and sweaty **Harry...i'm going to need my shirt back. I've been trying to get it back for an hour, still won't give it to me ass hole!** startes wrestling Harry to the ground to get her pink shirt back **OH DAMN! I GIVE UP! YOU TRANSVESTITE! GAH!

Harry:** laughs maniacally after Ginny gets off of him. **That was totally pointless, I just want you to know. **Pulls off pink shirt, showing spectacular abs and…just a killer body. gives shirt to Ginny**

Ginny: **is handed shirt but drops it because she's too busy staring at Harry. **mmmhhmm…

Lavender: **Stares at Harry with desire**

Pavarti: **Stares at Harry with desire**

Hermione: **Stares at Ginny, Lavender, and Pavarti who's staring at Harry with desire, with desire.**

Ron, Dean, and Seamus: **is totally creeped out by the whole**

Harry:** likeing the attention and starts flexing his muscles**

Girls(besides Hermione): ohh's and ahh's

Ron: Alright, I think that's enough, Harry, here you go **takes off shirt and throws it at Harry**

Harry: **runs like a maniac and catches it because it was so very far away.**

Girls(even Hermione): ohh's and ahh's

Ginny: **comes out of trance when Harry puts shirt back on** Harry, truth or dare?

Harry: **grins** dare.

Ginny: **grins back **I dare you to strip for me.

Harry: right!

Hermione: **glancing a look at Ron **umm…can I come?

Harry:** looks at her with disgust **no! this is me and Ginny's 'private time' not me, Ginnys, and Hermione's 'private time'

Ginny: **whines **aww come on Harry, Hermione's my best friend, let her go!

Hermione: **nods with hope**

Harry: **roles his eyes **fine you crazy crackers! Lets go!

Ginny and Hermione: **squeal with delight**

Everyone else: **silently squeals with delight too**

Harry, Ginny, and Hermione:** run into the bathroom to do the naughty thing.**

Everyone else:** runs to the bathroom to watch.**

THE END!

A/N: that's right my friends. This was only a two chapter story. Why? Because I've got way too much on my hands, and you people probably won't even read this chapter. So this is the end of my greatly perverted story.** starts singing**

It's the end of the world as we know it

It's the end of the world as we know it

It's the end of the world as we know it

But I feel fine.

It's the end of the world as we know it

It's the end of the world as we know it

It's the end of the world as we know it

But I feel fine.


	3. Confessional

_Chapter 3_

_**Things You Wouldn't Expect**_

This time, it's only Harry, Hermione, and Ginny. Ginny is lying down flat on the ground. Harry's on one side of her and Hermione's on the other. They are trying to do: Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board.

Ginny: $open's her eyes and looks at The Narrator in confusion$ that's awfully stupid. God. Spaz.

Hermione $grabs Ginny's ass$

Harry: $Growls at Hermione$ That's my bitch honey!

Narrator: $bitch-slaps the lot of them$ Just shut the hell up and get on with it. Gah!

Hermione and Harry: $start rolling on the floor, beating the shit out of each other$

Ginny: $rolls eyes$ I mean really, what's the point in this. All we'd have to do is levitate eachother. It's not like it's that hard.

Everyone from the previous chapters walk in suddenly.

Hermione: $Stops biting off Harry's ear$

Harry: $pouts$ aw, baby, why'd you stop. that felt to good...

Everyone: $looks at him$

Hermione: ANYWAYS! $blushes$ you know what we should do?

Seamus: what?

Hermione: Be in a confessional. we'll sit in a circle and tell our deepest, darkest secrets.

Everyone (other than Ron): $Agrees$

Ron: $blushes and walks out of room$

Ginny: He just doesn't want everyone to know he's a girl.

Everyone: $stares at her in disbelief$

Dean: No he's not.

Ginny: $rolls her eyes$ yes he is. How would you know anyway.

Dean: $indignantly$ because i've seen his penis during our nightly kinky butt sex!

Everyone: $pukes$

Hermione: Ew...

They all get in a circle. It starts with Hermione.

Hermione: Everyone...I'm a lesbian.

Everyone: $completely and totally surprised$ NO! we would have never guessed.

Seamus: Guys...I'm in love with Hannah Abbot, the most popular girl in school.

Everyone: OMG! $burn Seamus at a stake$

Ginny: ...i'm 16 and i haven't started my period...

Everyone: OMG! SHE'S A WITCH! BURN HER! BURN THE WITCH! $burn Ginny at a stake$

Dean: Every night i have kinky butt sex with Ron, Crabbe, and Goyle.

Everyone: Bet that's fun $bring up mutual fantasies in mind$

Parvati: I like cherry pie

Everyone: OMG! $burn off Parvati's fingers$

Ron walkes in and sit's down.

Ron: I miss scabbers.

Everyone: Poor ronnikens...

Lavender: $shifty eyes$ my sister is gothic.

Everyone: that's it? what's so bad about that? i mean, really, that's a crap confession. god...spaz.

Harry: I'm black.

Everyone: duh.

Harry: and a girl.

Everyone: Old news

Harry: and a death eater

Everone: Fun, fun

Harry: $bursts into tears$ and me and Draco are getting married in the state of iowa.

Everyone: $in horror$ NO! NOT IOWA!

Harry: YES! THE DREADED IOWA!

Everyone: $faints$ THE AGONY!

A/N: Well, there you go. Chapter three. and i'm running out of games for them to play. Give me idea's please. or, hell, get pissed at me for my sick sense of humor. Personally, like it. Somebody once asked me if i was actually female, for no girl should be so sick minded. yes. yes i am. and proud of it.


	4. rendezvous

_Chapter 4_

_**It's getting strange...well, i mean...stranger than it was before...urgh just read it!**_

Everyone is sitting in the Gryffindor Common Room. As usual. But this time, EVERYONE IS HERE! the normal people, and Hannah Abbot, and Draco Malfoy, and Crabbe, and Goyal, and Peter Pan. Oops, not Peter Pan, i never said peter pan. What the hell were you thinking? thinking _I_ said Peter Pan was in the Gryffindor Common Room. I don't even LIKE Peter Pan. I mean peter pan. My bad...ANYWAYS! So yes, everyone is in the Gryffindor Common room. I mean Gryffindor Common Room. Yes. And you've got your ickle firsties in the back, scared to death of a crazy Hermione, and second years laughing at the crazy Hermione, but beind their "books" and "such" because she might just stab them with sporks. and- wait...back to the crazy Germione. I mean HERMIONE!. My bad.

Ginny: WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP AND GET ON WITH IT!

Narrator: SHUT THE HELL UP WHORE!

Ginny: YOU DID _NOT_! $beats the shit out of the false narrator, and buries her in the ground.$

New Narrator: Actually, i'm the old narrator. This dumbass one locked me in an 8x8 square glass jar for 3 full days with nothing but carnivorous ferrets.

Ginny: oooookay...

Old Narrator: so yes, anyways...

Everyone's in the Gryffindor Common Room. Blah, blah blah. Hermione's gone crazy the the first years. Kills one with a book to the head. The normal stuff, you know. Harry and Draco are making out. So are Crabbe and Hannah, while Seamus looks on tearfully as his beloved makes out with ugly fat warty dude. Again, normal stuff.

Hermione: AND IF I E_VER_ SEE _ANY_ OF YOU TOUCHING MY JAR OF SPICY CHOW MAIN AGAIN, I WILL PERSONALLY CUT OFF YOUR TESTICALS WITH A HERRING. $holds up said fish threateningly$

1st year girl: But mrs. 'mione, herring's are fish.

Hermione: I KNOW THAT! $stabs girl$

1st year boy: Um, mrs. 'mione, what if we don't HAVE testicules?

Hermione: YOU FUCKING SQUARE! YOU SPELLED IT WRONG! $stabs boy$

Ginny: HERMIONE! enough killing the stupid maniacal and transvestite 1st years. according to the narrator, we need to snog and mcgonnagle needs to come out.

Ginny and Hermione: $snog$

Mcgonnagle: $suddenly comes in completly and totally unexpectidly$ $looks at Ginny and Hermione angrily$ What is the meaning of this!

Ginny and Hermione: $look at teacher in horror$

Mcgonnagle: $looks at narrator$ oh for heaven sakes, just call me minerva!

Minerva: Better. anyways: YOU BOTH know THAT WHEN YOU MAKE OUT YOUR SUPPOSED TO TELL ME SO I CAN JOIN!

Ginny and Hermione: $squeak and run away$

Minerva: FUCKING BLOOD-SUCKING NECROPHILIACS!

Hermione: $Gives Minerva the bird$

Minerva: What am i supposed to do with this? $looks at bird in confusion$

Hermione: $sighs frusteratidly and flips Minerva off$

Minerva: WHY I NEVER! LITTLE BITCH! COME BACK HERE!

Minerva and Hermione: $run around the common room.$

Ginny: $watching uninterestidly$ Well, i'm gonna go fuck flitwick. I mean Flitwick.

Hermione: $bursts into tears$ your cheating on me!

Ginny: $sympethitically$ Of course not 'Mione.

Hermione: $breaths sigh of relief$

Ginny: To cheat on you, we'd have to be dating! $walks out of the room$

Minerva: She's right. wait...YES! WOO HOO! that means i can video tape mine and Snape's horrid sex and post it on the internet, and if Dumbledore sees it (he's just so Kinky) then he can't say i cheated on him. YAY!

A/N: Well, i know it's not the same, but i felt like writing, and this was all i could come up with. i know it's not great, and if i'd stuck with what somebody had reviewed it would be alot better. i don't mind flames, so don't hesitate. but i can always use more suggestions, and i will probably use one of AlyshaNemesis or Ms. HellFire 4590 intelligent thoughts. God speed!


End file.
